NOW YOU SEE THE PROBLEM IS

I was just informed

there have never been shark nets on the coast around my hometown

 

- I know my mother loves me

 

some girls step in unison

link arms tsunami through corridors doors barriers flips of hair swishes of skirts

some girls pop socks lock eyes march  

 

                    unaware and too conscious

 

some women are of air and sun bleached bone

wind wracked shapely sinew skin cool even before dusk

 

some girls some women some other person’s wreckage in the aftermath

 

                   it’s not always like this

 

-  but it’s always been this way

 

                  I have a few concerns

 

-There have never been shark nets

THE TIMES SIN HAS TRESPASSED ON MY PLEASURE

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

                                                                                                         -Jeremiah 17:9 KJV


I am a construction

Site made in his image cast in his

Mold branch of his tree splayed lips fingers

 

Bedtime

Raised me to believe my family would run to the hills

Mark of the beast betraying domesticity

Credit cards snipped phones tripped - but all

For Jesus so it’s OK

On my knees mouth full

With supplication I am

Close         so close

Closer to god than ever before

Ocean stream gulley storm drain

Flush me

 

Goodbye

 

                    -I want to be good I want to be good I want to be good

 

                    -Feel the way your mouth moves when you say his holy name

 

I have learnt to rinse

The rice

Until the water runs clear

Transparent cheek eyelid aureole of your love              -oh god

But you see, I am bruised with sin

Busied with skin

 

                    -What are you gonna do about it?  

 

Burn down the dancehall disco nightclub theatre back alley stage bedroom

The lips we don’t see in the dark

Please

Plead

Praise the decay

Gauge out the rotten

Inward spiral

Helix induced inheritance of spoilt prayers

 

                    -What is all this?

 

Take me back mewling new

Areola hip split lip desire

Cracked brittle with the cold

Stretch out the heavens like a curtain

Rent and penetrate

 

                    -Wait, you’ve tried it before haven’t you?

 

Infinitely wicked inherently corrupt made like him to mirror him be him flesh of his what am I?

 

                    -I want to be good I want to be I

                    -I want

                    -I

 

Sin is just our loves placed out of order.

GOING HOME

Small town

hometown

 

                    - Hey, can you hear me? So, my mother drove me

 

down the ocean flanked

coastal road

wide whistling windows

bandage

silences

between sand dunes

boardwalk

space between our seats

 

vast

 

                    - And she says ‘here’s where I had my first kiss’

                    - And then, ‘your grandmother made me get rid of it’

 

watch her now

bent up like a hairclip

stomach vellum

soft with time

 

                    - My gran’s got a beauty spot on her belly my mom’s never seen before

 

this place

living membrane landscape

memory epidermis layered

day by day

new skins pile up

map our mistakes

 

                    - We keep driving. Then, ‘here’s where I got rape-’

                    - So, I was like, ‘Mom, can we please not go there now?’

 

overlaid and over lain and lay it down

you can’t peel it away go on try

more

mire

mine yours strangers neighbors

it’s just riddled geography

 

                    - Makes me think of the film on an egg

                    - Or the peel of an onion

                    - Yeah, but all of them placed on top of each other

 

small town

sacrosanct

small town

small talk

small town

sidewalk

sunset

slough

 

she drove me

back up the ocean flanked

coastal road

but this time I was the mother

warm breath insulated inside

 

                    - I gotta run. She’s calling me

 

wind whipped garbage bags

strain for the sky like they own it.